There are two types of people in the world; the early birds and the night owls.
Early birds leap out of bed in the morning full of smiles and energy seemingly having been launched off the mattress by a happy explosion of some sort. They operate at that level all day long and then they usually switch off the light and crash into bed immediately after supper, falling asleep before the residual light in the room fades. In short, no personality immediately after sunset.
Night owls on the other hand are still awake long after the moon has risen into the night sky and can maintain good spirits throughout the night and well into the early hours of the morning. However they are much less likely to be good company immediately after they wake up, only warming up to operating temperature from about midday onwards. In short, no personality immediately after sunrise.
This got me thinking about the way schooling is structured. You can, for instance, send your child to a pre-school which is attached to the primary school that it feeds. This has a major and measurable benefit in that this is the place is where you will drop off your child for school every morning for a total of nine consecutive years (that’s two preschool years followed by seven primary school years). That means that you don’t have to change your morning routine at all for the next nine years. I’m sure I don’t have to point out the obvious here, but I will anyway, this is a huge plus for night owls because, let’s face it, mornings are not the best time of day for night owls and the less change they have to endure in their routines in the morning, the better.
In point of grumpy fact, the majority of the human race are not early birds. It’s only the sunshine yellow personality people on the planet that are really happy in the morning, the rest of us just pretend to be happy because we don’t want to appear to be flawed in any way or indeed judged by the early birds. However I think that the world has it backwards because to my mind, the night owls, are the normal ones and as such shouldn’t have to feel like they have something to be ashamed of by being less than chipper before midday.
It’s the shiny, bouncy, smiley, perky, slept like a baby, handy-clappy and rah-rah-rah shouty morning people that are the weird ones and I think we should round them all up, administer a medical procedure of some kind to cure them of their ailment and then release them back into the population to blend in with the rest of us morning curmudgeons. Over time I think we’ll be able to cure the planet, we just have to get them all and be ever vigilant not to let their numbers get out of hand or we’ll all soon start feeling like modern day lepers again.
Now, these early birds account for about a quarter of the human race so it seems like a daunting task but I believe we can do it. I admit too that it all sounds a little sinister and grim to engage in what appears to be discrimination against and herding of these people but it’s really not a discriminatory stance. Don’t think of it in negative terms. Rather try to think of it as a cure for an illness that plagues a quarter of the people on the planet. There’s no vaccine possible because people are either born with this affliction or they are not, so we can’t eradicate it entirely, but a cure is just as good if you identify and treat the sick promptly, that is to say, as soon as they start displaying the tell-tale signs of early birds.
Doesn’t it sound like a worthwhile cause to get involved in? I mean curing so many people of an affliction that not only affects the sufferer’s, but also affects the balance of humanity indirectly, truly has to be one of the greatest undertakings we can embark on as a species. I for one would love to see this cause taken up by the medical community and addressed in our lifetime (just not in the morning obviously).
My boys are not shaping up to be early birds, in point of fact they are decidedly on the other end of the scale. They can keep going well after their respective bed times have passed if they’re given even half a chance to do so but then they’ll be the exact opposite of enthusiastically joyous to get out of bed the next morning.
I can completely understand that though. Hi, my name is Dad and I’m a night owl.